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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck my sandwiches before I eat them."

"What do you call a hacker who can see the future? A 4chan teller."

"Please pray for the private school kid whose dad drops him off in a 3-year-old car."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It was actually a double cross. He had to cross the road in order to gain the trust of the other side."

"I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds..."

"I'm putting ""open bar"" on my invitations, but its gonna be a cash bar. Just because its my 3rd wedding doesn't mean u can skip it, slackers."

"Why is it difficult to pan for gold in Somalia? Because pyrites arrrrrr everywhere"

"My 4-year-old is playing doctor with her baby dolls. She walked by a minute ago holding just a leg. Surgery didn't go well."

"Where can you find alcoholic sheep? At the BAAAAH"

"What's orange and can't climb a tree? Donald Trump."