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Joke of the Day

"What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you were forced to have it as a kid, you are NOT going to like it as an adult."

"I always like to have snacks while I surf porn. That way, I'm packing on the poundage while I'm pounding on the package."

"What does acid reflux and dubstep have in common? They both get better when you drop the ""base""."

"Let me make this simple, I want to be invited but I don't want to go."

"When I Die I want my remains to be scattered at Disneyland. I also don't want to be cremated."

"CNN just wondered if I'm sending disasters to punish you for your sins. No, I'm sending them to punish you for CNN."

"What makes a hockey player laugh? (Warning: Cheesy) Slapstick Comedy!"

"Why did the sea monster eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes? No one can eat just one potato ship."

"TIL the USS Colorado made nearly 12,000 career dives during WWII- significantly more than most modern submarines- and sunk the last Japanese warship of the war! Sorry, wrong sub :("

"What's the difference between a $200 vacuum and a $50 vacuum? I don't know, they both suck."