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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't the hipsters save the hippies? They were too far out."
Next Joke
"What was Hitler's favourite song? Knocking on ovens door"
"Why did the rooster cross the road? To show he wasn't a chicken."
"[accidentally calls teacher ""mom""] MY BRAIN: shit, play it cool. say something. ME: what's for dinner tonight BRAIN: what"
"Why the Spainish love English class.... Essays"
"Umlaut is a pretty fancy word for what are basically just little letter nipples."
"Whenever I see someone with spider web tattoos on their elbows I spray them with Raid and attempt to flush them down the toilet."
"First Kiss BF finally Kissed Her GF GF: Wow i can't believe that a Kiss is so nice.. BF: Ofcourse I told you.. Is it Your First Kiss? (smiling) GF: Yes! since my EX Boyfriends wants sex right away"
"Why did... Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one! Ha Ha Ha Ha"
"When you're a kid and you have an accident you pee your pants. When you're an adult and you have an accident you have a kid."