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Joke of the Day
"Why the Spainish love English class.... Essays"
Next Joke
"The bartender says: ""I'm sorry, we don't serve faster-than-light particles here."" A tachyon walks into a bar."
"Isn't it fun how many different shapes pasta can be? My wife left me last night."
"""You hang UP."" ""No, YOU hang UP."" - Movie theater workers arguing about hanging movie poster for Up."
"What was Monica Lewinsky's job at the White House? Receiving heads of state."
"[Car dealership] Me: *taps glove box* How 'bout this one? Salesman: Sir, we've been over this, I don't know how many McNuggets it will hold."
"People only hate jury duty because they have to go to a courthouse. Let em stay home and they'll tweet who's guilty all day."
"I was buying milk in a plastic bottle and the guy behind me was buying milk in a glass bottle and the power of his judgement turned me vegan"
"You know why men die earlier than women? Because we WANT to!"
"Just congratulated my ex on dating someone so young that her Throwback Thursday photos are just pictures of her pregnant mom. I'm a dream."