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Joke of the Day
"Why didn't the homophobe decorate his house for Halloween? Because his skeleton was in the closet"
Next Joke
"I just want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa... Not like the passengers in his car who were screaming quite loudly."
"How many people does it take to start a riot? -3/5"
"People use to laugh at me when I would say ""I want to be a comedian"" Well nobody is laughing now."
"According to MyFitnessPal, I have been dead for 6 weeks."
"Can a ninja throw a star? Shur-He-Can"
"There's a cricket living outside my apartment. I'm all ""Cricket, it's winter, shouldn't you die?"" and he's all ""Chirp!"" and we laugh."
"What do you call a walrus that's been hit by a bus? Dead."
"Job interview: ""what would you say is your biggest achievement is to date"" ""I once wore a hat to bed and it was still on in the morning"""
"Jesus take the wheel Carlos you take the stereo and I got lookout!"