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Joke of the Day

"5 female pigs + 5 male deer What do you get when you have 5 female pigs and 5 male deer? 10 sows and bucks (say it out loud)"

"What did the chemist say when he found out his two pet dogs died? Barium"

"11.45: Arrived at crime scene 11.45: Examined body. Signs of a struggle 11.45: Found murder weapon in drain 11.45: Realised watch was broken"

"A man drops his watch........ And he notices his dog is about to piss on it. The man says ""Oh no you don't, not on my watch!"""

"How would it be living in an only men city? I think it would be tight at first, but then it would loosen up after a while."

"What type of pants do Japanese people wear? Nihon-jeans (Nihon-jin)"

"please, Frankenstein was my creator's name; call me The Monster"

"I can't stand people who curse. Fucking disgraceful."

"[Dinner with GF's parents] Thank you for having me over, can I use the bathroom? ""MAY I use the bathroom"" *slams fists down* I ASKED FIRST"

"Ladies...when I say bless you after a sneeze, just say Thank you, instead of wondering where in the bushes that just came from."