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Joke of the Day

"If I looked down and saw Steve Buscemi between my legs, I'm pretty sure I'd think I was having a miscarriage."

"A dead battery walks into a bar,and asks for the price of a pint of beer. The barman responds, ""For you, sir, no charge."""

"One potato. Two potato. Three potato. Vodka."

"How about we don't pick a president this time and everyone promises to behave themselves."

"I don't know anything about golf... ...but I just watched it on TV for a couple minutes. It looks really easy. I'm sure I could get a very high score."

"An eagle gets sick and is arrested ... because, he is ill-eagle"

"My wife gives the best headache."

"Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a car."

"Sorry I can't come to your thing tonight, I'm too busy figuring out an excuse about why I can't come to your thing next week"

"What does the Obama administration think about foreign relations? Why so Syrias?"