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Joke of the Day

"A guy told a story about a creeper who got too close to him in /r/minecraft. It blew up. I'll show myself out."

"Tips to reduce weight: First turn your head to the right, then turn it to the left. Repeat this every time you are offered something to eat."

"Everybody has their own circle of friends. Yet the police still want to refer to mine as a ring'."

"Que es la nombre con un bebe burro? un burrito"

"The good news is, I found my phone charger in my bed while I was vacuuming my sheets. The bad news is, you read that 2nd part correctly."

"So how do you stop eating the endless breadsticks at Olive Garden does the restaurant close or are you supposed to bring a spotter with you?"

"Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did."

"What did Jaws call his solo banking firm? Loan shark."

"What did the Australian grandmaster say to the banker, when asked what he wanted to exchange? Check, mate!"

"What insect lives on nothing? A moth because it eats holes."