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Joke of the Day

"I like my women the way I like my coffee Tied up in a burlap sack and slung over the back of Juan Valdez's mule."

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"""Let the chips fall where they may."" -My kids when they're eating chips on the couch."
"I'm not saying she's a sl*t but whenever she eats a banana in public, she puts one hand behind her head."
"I have a confession to make: I masturbate in the shower. It feels good to come clean."
"Women think about sex every 7 seconds. Just not with you."
"Doctors recommend that you drink 8 glasses of water a day and don't fall out of a helicopter"
"My girlfriend accused me of cheating I told her she was starting to sound like my wife"
"Twitterzoned (by Kevin L. Schwartz) Is ""Twitterzoning"" a thing? ""You're okay as a Twitter friend, but let's not get all Facebook about this."" You've been Twitterzoned."
"Sorry, but the greatest thing since sliced bread is sandwiches. Period."
"Seahawks on the Super Bowl Hey, so are you guys wanting to win the Super Bowl? Nah, we'll pass."
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