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Joke of the Day
"Filled the tank up with petrol today. Now all the fish are dead."
Next Joke
"Oh panic attacks,I thought you said pancake attacks because I have those all the time."
"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? I'll see you next month"
"If your mom still washes your underwear, you're not allowed to have an opinion about anything."
"[at a child's birthday party] Lady: which one's yours? Me: uhh, that one L: that's my daughter M: *grabs the cake and runs*"
"What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? An ass that will bring a tear to your eye."
"I wanted to upload the Mexico-Chile game to PornHub... ... but PornHub said they don't accept rape."
"I never wanted to hug someone as badly as the little old man who just ordered a ""small coffee flavored coffee"" in Starbucks."
"Friends don't let friends make Harlem Shake' videos..."
"1969: America winning space race with the Russians 2014: America keeping up with the Kardashians."