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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock. Who's there? The pilot, let me in! Credit to: /u/Squidward_On_Drugs on an AskReddit thread, wanted to share with r/jokes"

"My parents asked me if I wanted to watch Dumb and Dumber with them tonight.. When I went downstairs the debate was on."

"Probably the slowest way to die is sloth with a knife."

"Why did the chicken double-cross the road? To change sides."

"Twilight is like soccer. They run around for 2 hours, nobody scores, and its millions of fans insist you just don't understand."

"The greatest thing about Christmas is how it teaches kids to be selfish little shits on someone else's birthday."

"I just got awake from sleep, after 61 days April Fools :D got it ; 61 days ..earlier ..from today right, no ? alright move on :|"

"Ignorance is a palindrome"

"Why did all the sea monsters refer to the kraken as a whore when he died? Because he died choking on a bunch of seamen."

"Why did the dog sit in the front seat of the car? Because the car had a sun ""woof""! Yes, I made this up myself. Yes, I have no friends."