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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you."

"When you're an Olympic-size slut, every day is an opening ceremony."

"I guess I'm getting old. Now when I hear ""Pour Some Sugar On Me"" I think of 2 things. Who's cleaning it up and I hope we don't get ants."

"I was expelled from school during pajama day. It's not my fault I sleep naked."

"Why did the ambassador have extra resistance to harmful foreign bacteria? He had diplomatic immunity."

"What do angry beavers build? DAMNITS!"

"I keep waiting for my Cadbury Creme Eggs to hatch into Cadbury Creme Chickens, but no luck so far. And sitting on them certainly didn't help"

"Ants can lift something 50 times their body weight. Wow. That means you can lift a leaf. Cool. I could do that when I was 14. Tiny idiots."

"My girlfriend just found out I've been sleeping with a barmaid I just hope that none of this gets back to my wife!"

"What do they call fat chicks in France? American tourists!"