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Joke of the Day

"""You know the newest cars drive themselves. And they found that by turning an equal amount left and right, you end up going straight."" ""I swear, officer."""

"Archaeologists have discovered a mummy in Egypt encased in chocolate and surrounded by hazelnuts They are calling it ""The Pharaoh Rocher"""

"What happens when you try to eat a fist full of rice? YOU GET KNOCKED OUT!!!"

"My smart friend My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face."

"I've developed a phobia of elevators I'm taking steps to avoid them."

"A good pun is hard to find, like a good steak... *The medium's rarely well-done.*"

"Fart tutor wanted, must have references"

"A screwdriver walks into a bar... The Bartender says, ""Hey! We have a drink named after you!"" The Screwdriver says, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"How many Freudian slips does it take to change a light bulb? Two! One to hold the bulb, the other to hold the cock, uh, penis, I mean, uh, ladder."

"Whenever my girlfriend and I share a meal, I let her have the first bite because I'm a gentleman. Also, to see if it's been poisoned."