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Joke of the Day

"Why are all the users of Ashley Madison worried about their emails leaking? They will be millionaires when the Nigerian princes finish downloading the file."

"What does a robot do after a one night stand? He nuts and bolts"

"Why does a chicken coop have two doors ? Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!"

"We had a muslim friend.. Who was always late to the class. We used to call him 9/12. Edit: he is still my best friend."

"Feel sorry for Julio Cesar tonight. Last time I saw a Brazilian facing this many shots he was jumping a ticket barrier at Stockwell."

"What should we call this giant advertising board? PHIL: A philboard BILL: I have a better idea"

"Hey baby, I heard that rabbits, can make 150 babies a year, how many do you think we can make in an hour?"

"A computer game character walks into a bar... I should really turn no-clip off."

"A recent study shows that Twitter users don't give a fuck in excess of 30 times a day."

"I was a bit upset that the condom I found in my wallet had expired but at the end of the day I'm just glad my wallet practices safe sex."