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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between finding $50 and anal sex? One will make your day, the other will make your hole weak."

"if ur worried ur not gonna get a New Years Eve kiss just remember that Valentines Day is in 45 days n ur probably gonna b alone for that too"

"Use ANTIVIRUS first Boy: Can I touch u r Software, Girl: First show me u r Hardware, Boy: Can I Download it in u r Hole? Girl: use ANTIVIRUS first."

"How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife's clothes."

"Since twitter, I don't go from home to car to work to car to home I go from charger to charger to charger to charger to charger"

"Clickbait. What did you expect? Honestly."

"if I ever go missing, it won't be hiking. you guys don't even have to look there."

"I just moved to Wisconsin, and my neighbour invited me over to meet his wife and his sister. When I got there... ...the three of us had dinner."

"Do scarecrows really work? No, but because they don't register for benefits, they don't count as unemployed either."

"I swear, even my ex lasted longer than my phone battery does."