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Joke of the Day

"Bernie Sanders only has one night stands It's totally not his choice, but women tend not to call back once they still Feel The Bern the next morning."

"I saw this cute homeless girl on the street.. ..so I asked her if I could take her home. She smiled and said ""sure"", boy the look on her face when I walked off with her cardboard box..."

"When my girlfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo... I had to put my foot down."

"*First day as drug dealer* *Giggles* ""coke isn't available, is Pepsi ok?"" *gets stabbed*"

"In order to catch herpes, u have to think like a herpes"

"What is hard when it goes in and soft and sticky when it comes out? A chewing gum"

"My GPS stopped working this morning and I'm going to the mall to get a new one I really hope someone with a TomTom left their car unlocked"

"Why did the student study in an airplane? He wanted a higher education! "

"Where did the Knights of the Round Table park their horses? In the Sir Lance Lot"

"Me: Excuse me, where's the rowing boat equipment? Employee: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle. Me: ... Employee: ... Me: Or you'll what?"