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Joke of the Day

"*First day as drug dealer* *Giggles* ""coke isn't available, is Pepsi ok?"" *gets stabbed*"

"Say what you will about terrorists, but those guys really know how to paint the town red."

"How are Clinton scandals like Pokemon? You'll never catch 'em all!"

"So we've all heard the ""7, 8, 9 joke"" before.... Well then why was 2 sad? Because it went 1-3! (I'm sorry)"

"*smokes fat doobie* *enters hotdog eating contest* *sets Guinness World Record* *gets disqualified for using performance-enhancing drugs*"

"Eye of the tiger. Nose of the lion. Mouth of the lynx. Ear of the bobcat. Throat of the cougar. Forehead of the ocelot."

"I love Halloween... It's the only time of the year that I can lure young children in with candy without using my van."

"What's brown and sounds like a bell? DUNG!!!!"

"What do you call a whore with a runny nose? Full."

"My brother has muscular dystrophy and we got into an argument about religion I told him his argument is just as valid as his legs.... Weak."