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Joke of the Day
"What band's fanbase is the most charitable? U2, they're all pro-bono."
Next Joke
"Don't judge someone because they sin differently than you."
"I couldn't get past first base with the native girl she had her reservations"
"When is April 2nd and she is still pregnant! D:"
"What's a programmer's least favorite wind instrument? The OBOE."
"If Apple releases a car... will it have Windows?"
"What's worse than having a screaming child on your hands? Having half a screaming child on your hands."
"*gets email* -Do you want to chat with hot nineteen-year olds in your area?- *responds* ""Can any of them help me with this iTunes update?"""
"At work today I noted that it's difficult to see yellow marker on white paper... My Asian coworker said, ""Are you trying to say you can't see white and yellow together?"""
"ME: long time no see! I heard you're a doctor FRIEND: I am. what do you do now? ME: [glances down at open twitter app] I'm a writer"