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Joke of the Day

"I went to the library and asked for a book about small peni$es. The librarian said, ""I'm not sure if it's in yet."" ""Yep, that's the one"", I said."

Next Joke
 
"If you got a butcher who is 6'2, what does he weigh? Meat."
"You totally had me at ""I want you"" and I was so excited, I completely missed the "" To leave me alone"" part....Sorry my bad."
"What will Stevie Wonder's next album be called? Songs In the Key Of Death"
"What did the geologist say at the Chinese restaurant? May I have Eurasian plate?"
"Did you hear the CEO of Twitter got in trouble for buying shares of rival companies? I guess it was a conflict of Pinterest."
"Why is it that birds are quickly sold when they come up on the transfer market? They tend to go cheep!"
"*puts kid in tub* *checks twitter* *forgets about kid* *tweets* *remembers kid* *finds kid-shaped prune floating in tub*"
"What do air and sex have in common? Neither is terribly important until you're not getting any."
"""Please! There's no need to interact with me. I'm just here to observe."" -me in every social situation"