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Joke of the Day

"Frozen (2013) A young girl spends years in solitude & must plan her parent's funeral alone because her sister is secretly one of the X-Men"

"Wow 15 notifications.. oh wait 13 of them are for farmville, cityville, I dont give a shit-ville"

"You shouldn't be ashamed of yourself That's your parents job."

"How do you swat one hundred flies at the same time? Smack an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan."

"Guess who I bumped into today at the opticians? Everyone."

"Praying Mantis: *attends church, devours husband* Agnostic Mantis: *stares suspiciously up at the sky, devours husband*"

"why don't foot fetishists ever win anything? because they like the taste of defeat. i'm not even sorry."

"What kind of drink would a lollipop make? Sucker punch."

"The Human Body Is 90% Water, So Basically We're Just Cucumbers With Anxiety"" - Science Person"

"Lame joke: ""What do you get when you combine a vampire and a snowman?"" Frostbite."