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Joke of the Day
"""It all started with a Klondike Bar.."" -Nostalgic Prostitute"
Next Joke
"ME: *to friend* you're dumb as a box of rocks lol BOX OF ROCKS: *putting finishing touches on his astrophysics thesis* dude"
"When someone picks up your call after 3 or 4 rings you should know they were seriously contemplating letting you go to voicemail"
"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? See you next month."
"My local grocery store has a special deal going on at the self scan aisle, buy one get like 30 free."
"In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby ""North West"" I will be naming my first son ""Taco"""
"Why does John Cena always take awhile to feel better when he's sick? Because the Doctor can never see him."
"Going out in my hometown tonight. Hope my old bullies are really impressed by my parody twitter accounts."
"The first 36 years of my childhood have been the hardest."
"""You know the newest cars drive themselves. And they found that by turning an equal amount left and right, you end up going straight."" ""I swear, officer."""