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Joke of the Day

"What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine? He made a spectacle of himself."

"A jumper cable walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""I'll serve you, but you better not start anything!"""

"Getting a college degree is just like buying a new car Its value is cut in half as soon as you leave the property with it."

"Wedding day Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The ceremony wasn't that great, but let me tell ya the reception was great."

"The best advice my parents ever gave me was not to push too hard because that's how Elvis died."

"Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Anyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the border."

"The best part about having a homeless girlfriend? After the date, you can just drop her off anywhere."

"It has been proven that girls with profile picture of them selves in the mirror are more likely to send nudes."

"What's black and never works? Decaf coffee, you racist bastard."

"What does a pescatarian librarian eat when they're hungry for a little snack? Microfiche."