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Joke of the Day
"The best advice my parents ever gave me was not to push too hard because that's how Elvis died."
Next Joke
"The Road Runner is a pretentious, cocky fucking asshole and deserves to be eaten. Beep beep that shit, motherfucker."
"I've never seen squirrels fucking, but they've never seen me fucking either, so we have that in common."
"According to the Bible, what company was the first car manufacturer? Honda. Because Jesus and his apostles were in one accord."
"The worst thing about being deaf is... when I masturbate, I can't hear anybody come in my room. *Not even myself.*"
"How that we are engaged I hope you'll give me a ring. Of course. What's your phone number ?"
"Two Nuns walking down the street...when a streaker.. Two Nuns walking down the street... when a streaker runs past, one of them had a stroke..........the other couldn't reach..."
"A baker gets home from work. He then says ""Time to go to bread""."
"Takes a very specific type of confidence to drop off your hoodie at coat check."
"The length of your iPhone cord, plus one inch, is how far away the outlet is from the hotel bedside table."