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Joke of the Day

"When I get alzheimer's I'm going to watch The Sixth Sense like every day."

"Why are grapes so fun to go clubbing with? Because they're always raisin the roof."

"Hey girl, are you an empty refrigerator? Because you don't have to be running"

"Siri, answer all of my toddler's stupid questions."

"It's called Taco Bell because Alexander Graham Bell also invented the taco."

"If you can't handle me at my drunkest, you don't deserve me when I'm sober."

"I guess traffic is spending the night Because it brought its jammies."

"Where do mermaids go to see movies? ...The dive-in"

"[funeral] Her: why is my dead grandfather wearing a diamond ring? *sliding it off his finger* Me: *gets down on one knee* because babe..."

"Ramadan month is exhausting. You have to wait all day to Instagram your food."