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Joke of the Day

"How To Impress Your Boss 1. Show up early. 2. Have all the tools you need. 3. Read the strategy guide. 4. Aim for the big glowing weak spot (usually the eyes)."

"If a dog ran away every three nights and had an orange tail, what would that make it? I think it would still be a dog..."

"Q: What do you call an Oyster who is stuck in traffic? A: A PearlJam "

"Hate when I forget to grab a towel before I shower and have to dry off by doing karate in the mirror for 3 hours"

"How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, one to hold the ladder and the other to screw the mother.. LIGHTBULB!"

"How many software developers does it take to fix a light bulb? none, its a hardware issue."

"I've been reading a book on North African History It's very moorish."

"JOHN AND MARY'S SEX DISCOVERY"

"I've been working out at Starbucks lately. Hitting the french press."

"I took an 8 hour class on door-making... Don't knock it till you try it"