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Joke of the Day
"Why does Jesus Jaywalk? Because he hates crosswalks"
Next Joke
"guard your heart, cater to no man's ego, honor your own time and your energy, don't use uber. happy 2015."
"Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret."
"A neutron went into a bar and asked the bartender, ""How much for a beer?""The bartender replied, ""For you, no charge."""
"I just farted for 6 seconds and now I'm a dubstep DJ."
"Me: Leonard Nimoy died today. Co-worker: From Star Wars? *goes home* Wife: How was your day? Me: Leonard Nimoy and a co-worker died today."
"What's the deal with the phrase ""door ajar""? I mean, is it a door or is it a jar?"
"Q: IS IT SEXUAL HARASMENT IF YOU GO TO A WOMAN AND TELL HER HER HAIR SMELLS NICE? A: WHAT IF THE MAN IS A DWARF?"
"Tell you what I know about dwarves very little. I can say that, they look up to me."
"What kind of toothpaste do MLG use? Pretty much anything, just no Scope."