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Joke of the Day

"Did you guys hear about them putting Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill? To bad it is only going to be worth $12 now."

"Proper grammar is the difference... ... between knowing your shit and not knowing you're shit."

"What do you get when you cross a stoner with a halo nerd? Masterchief"

"What do you call a bird born in the 90s? A millennial falcon."

"I dated a guy in a band for two months before I realised he was just a sexy mop."

"What do you call a chinese Jehovah's witness? Ding Dong"

"Two rules for success 1. Never reveal everything you know"

"No, those pants don't make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?"

"If you've been kind to nature, birds will rescue you through your sunroof in a traffic jam and fly you to their kingdom"

"What do you call a group of pillaging Huns? An army of Hun-dread."