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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a bird born in the 90s? A millennial falcon."
Next Joke
"Trying not to ask my blind roommate if he masturbated too much."
"Time = Money because you SPEND it!"
"That awkward moment when someone asks if you've dyed your hair and you say no, its just clean."
"What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? It may take me a while to get hardI just got laid last night."
"[Barnes and Noble] CASHIER: anything else? ME: four barns and your finest noble please CASHIER: get out"
"Why is it so hard to find Tylenol in the jungle? Because the parrots eat 'em all. . . . Explanation: Parrots eat 'em all = paracetamol = acetominophen = Tylenol"
"My Wife made me choose between her, and my Love of Pointing out Doors ""If you want to leave"" I told her, ""There's the Door"""
"I had a Bernie supporters joke..... But most of them don't work."
"If it ain't broke, my children haven't touched it yet."