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Joke of the Day
"Never trust anyone under 30 lbs. Especially when it comes to driving directions. Babies are liars."
Next Joke
"I built a staircase using an online tutorial! When I finished I thought something looked wrong so I went back to look at the instructions. I missed a step."
"Stare at the waitress's boobs when you tell her you want ""everything"" on your sandwich. Ya never know..."
"My friend asked me if the new Star Wars was in 3D... ... and I said, yes, but they R2D2."
"Young Billy stuck the knife into the outlet... He said it was a shocking surprise."
"Why did the bullet stay home? Because it got fired!"
"Did you hear about the thalidomide porn star? He had an arm like a baby's cock."
"A jumper cable walks into a bar The bartender says okay I'll serve you, as long as you don't start anything."
"One drink, I feel glamorous Two, I get amorous Three, a bit stammerous Anymore than four, I'm on the floor, all drooly and hammerous"
"Him: I love nerd girls Me: Cool! Did you know the human body can't feel water, only a change in temperature? Him: no. not like that."