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Joke of the Day

"Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a registered six offender."

"What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts"

"Why do the melons have to have a traditional marriage ceremony? Because they cantaloupe."

"I am not an alcoholic An alcoholic needs a drink, I have a drink."

"Give a dad a fish and save him a trip to Costco. Teach a dad to fish and you can throw wild parties while he's away on fishing weekends."

"My wife said she wants to be treated like gold on her birthday. Apparently, locking her in the safe wasn't what she had in mind."

"What is the volume of a pizza of thickness A and radius Z? PI Z Z A"

"My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, ""your daughter"" wasn't the right answer."

"did you read dr seuss as a kid because green eggs and damn"

"3:Mommy why do I have to wear a coat, it's not that cold out!? Me:So other Moms don't judge me and talk shit, Buddy."