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Joke of the Day

"My friend woke up this morning in fits of laughter. I think he must have slept funny."

"How can you tell a dog from an elephant? The elephant remembers."

"I think the bigger issue with our country is that Paula Deen even had that many endorsements to lose in the 1st place."

"Three guys walk into a bar You'd think one of them would've seen it"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? R! Aaaarrrgghhhh! You'd think it'd be R but it's the C, matey!"

"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because we killed the only one who had a dream."

"When a man speaks in the forest and there is no wife to hear... is he still wrong?"

"[boss's office] I'm tired of staff that think they know everything! Do you know what I mean, Murray? ""No, sir"" I like your style, Murray."

"I'm single by choice Not my choice though, every girl I've ever asked out's choice."

"What does Light Yagami drink at the bar? Tekira!"