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Joke of the Day
"Why there are so many avenues in France? Because german soldiers like to march in the shade"
Next Joke
"Why did the californian celebrate his birthday a day earlier? He moved down-under!!"
"Buddy of mine asked what will happen if Trump got elected... I replied, ""There will be hell toupee"""
"Tonight, people who are weaker, slower, and dumber than you will deliver bags of treats to your very doorstep. Seize this moment."
"Knock-knock. Who's there? No, he's on first."
"*opens door* trick or treat? ""It's October 14th"" I'm dressed as a time traveller *scraps dinner off plate into his bag* ""touche"""
"It's impressive how within three minutes of crawling into bed your brain can remind you of 23,472 things going wrong with your life."
"I like my coffee how I like my slaves... FREE"
"[turns to buddy just before bar fight] ""I'll take the guy with the glasses, you take the guy dressed as a ninja"""
"Wife: What are you gonna do today? Me: Shower. W: ...what else? M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower."