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Joke of the Day

"Remember kids, if a stranger offers you drugs, say thank you because drugs are expensive."

"To little kid eyeing my McDonalds: thats right i can eat this any time i want... Dont ask about any of the other parts of my life please."

"Seize the day. Attack the week. Murder the month. Approach your life in a generally violent way."

"GF Trying to Find a 32 Bit version of MS Office. ""WTF, there is no 32 bit version. They are all 64 bit or x86."""

"Did you hear about the comedian who was arrested for domestic violence? He was a real niece slapper."

"Q: What do bees do if they don't want to drive? A: Wait at the buzz stop."

"What do compassion and sex have in common? Without passion it's only cum!"

"Three cheers for rap music. Hip hop... \- Tim Vine"

"What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common? They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen."

"I'd love to see Jason Statham's face when he finds out you can turn down movie roles."