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Joke of the Day

"""Bear with me"" -A Russian bear trainer"

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"Good women are found on every corner of the earth but sadly the earth is round."
"I love subtraction sums so much... ...I won't let anyone take it away from me."
"How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza"
"Who is this ""one""? And why is he always arguing with people?"
"Some pages troll us by making a pixel or two on the page black so that we think it's a smudge... why would anyone do that? I just can't put my finger on it."
"My veterinarian told me to stop feeding my cows round bales of hay... they don't provide a square meal"
"How do you know carrots improve your vision? Cause you've never seen any bunnies with glasses"
"Restaurant owner warns his employee: ""one must open oysters carefully""... The employee answers: ""no shucking fit!"""
"Obviously we have our own shitty lives to worry about now but it would be fun to all move into a Twitter nursing home in 50 years."