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Joke of the Day
"My favourite mythical creature is the happy woman in the tampon adverts"
Next Joke
"met the cutest girl today. her eyes were gentle, like the light from a phone screen and her smile glowed, like the light from a phone screen"
"This morning I combed my son's hair sideways and to the front then yelled ""you just got Bieber'd!"" He's not talking to me."
"Do You Like Wendy's? Well you're not gonna like it Wendy's nuts are bouncing off your chin."
"What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol? My record is 21 years."
"I am at my most drunk when I go from chat room to chat room yelling WHO STOLE MY POPTART!!"
"Why did the PI detective cross the road? He needed to keep up with Jenny's U-turns."
"*angrily whispering over crib* ""Sheila you know I was raised by wolves. I have to pay it forward."" ""But why do they need their own cribs?"""
"Did you hear about the steak that was knighted by the queen? Sir Loin."
"What do you call a cow with no hind legs? an utter drag"