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Joke of the Day
"All of the other reindeer were secretly watching red-nose-on-regular-nose porn."
Next Joke
"im a cat and i FREaking love turning potential energy into kinetic *pushes glass off table* your going to feed and keep me for some reason"
"What do you call a man who makes fart scented candles? Incense-itive"
"Kids teach you so many life lessons. Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door."
"Favorite lame DAD joke"
"TIL how to keep an idiot waiting I'll let you know tomorrow."
"My Obgyn suggested I cut carbs to maintain a healthier pregnancy weight. Frankly, I'd rather cut the Obgyn."
"Every kiss begins with K but so does every kidnapping. That's how words work people."
"How do lions like their steaks? RAWR"
"Is Google a he or a she... Is Google a he or a she? A: A she, no doubt, because it wont let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas."