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Joke of the Day

"So Miley Cyrus was hospitalized after an allergic reaction. Apparently the ecstasy she took was made in a facility which also processes tree nuts."

"*Feels the cool breeze caressing my skin* Cool breeze: I have a girlfriend"

"I asked my German professor... ...""can you tell me how many credit hours of German this school offers?"" She replied, ""nine."" ""Well, thanks anyways,"" I said."

"What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth? A mechanic."

"I had surgery to change myself from Asian to Caucasian. It was a real eye opening experience"

"Don't say ""fuck"" in Japan They don't like it when you drop the bomb."

"How does a skeleton call her friends? On a telebone."

"I just watched a documentary on marijuana They should all be watched that way"

"Do you love hiding electrical outlets? Well an exciting career in hotel design might be just what you're looking for!"

"Drake started from the bottom. Of Darwin's evolution chart."