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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the Joke they don't tell retards... No, Oh my bad."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Silent."

"My wife said ""I bet you can't go a whole day without telling a period joke.""I said ""You're on."""

"I think we're looking at the NSA spying thing the wrong way, there are potential positives. Soon if you forget your email password you'll be able to ring the CIA and they'll remind you."

"What do you call a Nazi cetacean? Adolfin."

"ME: Do we have Bacon Bits? WIFE: Fridge. Why? ME: *filling pockets* No reason *dog park* PERSON: Sorry. He's normally behaved ME: No prob"

"Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."

"Why was skrillex banned from the music shop? for dropping the bass too much"

"Why do they only put expiration DATES on food? It'd be fun as hell if they gave us the exact time too. ""We got 8 minutes to eat this ham!!!"""

"Once, when my grandma stepped out of the bathtub... and my sister commented that the hair on her privates'' was getting rather sparse, Granny retorted that ""grass don't grow on a racetrack""."