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Joke of the Day

"Did you know there is a Virus that turns fruits into vegetables? It's called AIDS."

"I like my women like I like my clothesline. Strung out and tied up."

"Self-control (n.): Charlize Theron keeping a straight face on when the mirror tells her Kristen Stewart is prettier than she is."

"Free throws are just as good as the store-bought kind."

"Why did John F. Kennedy take a cab home? Because he had too many shots."

"[Wonder Woman shows up] Superman: Is she with you? Batman: I thought she was with you? Wonder Woman: Bruce you literally emailed me today"

"A guy told me this one in class today.... What do you call 2 White Russians and a Jager bomb? A Boston Marathon."

"So I went to a culture booth recently... And I tried some ramen. Wasn't a great idea I soon found out, as I had eaten a cheeseburger not long before. Everything just surrendered..."

"I know we get a lot of dad jokes...here's a mom one What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine? Make it sew!"

"What do Peacocks mate with? Peacunts"