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Joke of the Day
"Why did the cow win a Nobel Prize? Because he was out standing in his field."
Next Joke
"Build a man a fire, and you'll keep him warm for a night. Light a man on fire, and you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life."
"[Rorschach test] Patient: Leprechauns in cheetah print unitards kickflipping over flaming tree stumps Dr: I think we can skip the others"
"What do you call a pregnant stewardess? Pilot error"
"Whats the fastest way to cut down a tree? Suh Dude"
"My mom got remarried to a man with a son, and he just crapped in our bathroom. So now I have a step-father, a step-brother, and a step-stool!"
"INTERVIEWER: What's your greatest strength? M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN: [Removes mask to reveal that he was actually the interviewer the whole time]"
"A vegan invited my friends and I to a vegan restaurant.... the food really lettuce down."
"A friend confided in me about a peculiar birthmark on his butt. I told his secret to my friends for a laugh. I am Julian AssStrange."
"Yo mamma so ugly When one direction saw her they went in the other direction"