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Joke of the Day

"A friend confided in me about a peculiar birthmark on his butt. I told his secret to my friends for a laugh. I am Julian AssStrange."

"If you watch Intervention backwards, it's about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion."

"Did you hear about the hamster who died? He fell asleep at the wheel"

"If a poison expires, Will it be more poisonous or less poisonous?"

"Studies show that spying on people is good for humanity. Power to the peep-hole!"

"JUDGE: That THING cannot enter ME: But Inky is my pet OCTOPUS IN AN ASTRONAUT'S HELMET FILLED WITH WATER:*squirts ink at him* INKY NOOOOo"

"A Mexican magician says: ""on the count of three, I will disappear..."" and he went: ""onu, dos..."" and POOF! he disappeared without a trace"

"Mickey and Minnie go to get divorced... When the judge asks for the reason, Mickey: ""Because my wife is fucking goofy."" Judge: ""You mean she's crazy?"" Mickey: ""No, she's just fucking goofy!"""

"Just did some crunches while hugging my cat Just trying to get purrfect abs"

"People keep asking me how I'm doing since moving to North Korea Eh, can't complain."