231349

Joke of the Day

"DATING TIP: IF YOU EAT A MAGNET AND SLIP ANOTHER MAGNET INTO YOUR DATE'S DINNER SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOU"

"Deep in the black void where my heart once beat, there lies a small, glowing ember-- oh wait no that's a Cheeto."

"Why Don't Lobsters Share? Because they're shellfish."

"*holding a rattlesnake in each hand* These are the angriest maracas I've ever played"

"What's the similarity between a KFC meal and sex? When you're finished, all you're left with is a greasy box."

"What is a dental hygienist's favorite subject? Flossophy."

"What do Smokey the Bear and Alexander the Great have in common? Their middle name."

"A wizard walks into a gay bar... And disappears with a poof."

"I saw a flock of angry ducks the other day. I wonder why they were in such a fowl mood."

"Unfair fight. Housewife Holly Holm defeats Rousey with ironing skills... Because she layed her out and starched her ass."