23130

Joke of the Day

"Looks like Southwest Airlines needs to install a GPS Tomtom in the planes so their pilots don't get lost."

"What do Downton Abbey and Premenstrual Syndrome have in common? They're both period drama"

"Why couldn't the life guard save the hippie? He was too far out, man."

"Did you hear about the chef that died? He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history."

"Why does Bernie Sanders only drink skim milk? He can't stand the 1%"

"What did the 7-Eleven employee say to his wife after sex? Thank you, cum again."

"I'm going to keep using 'penis' as a verb until someone lets me penis them."

"Bigger Breasts Wife: ""How can I make my breasts bigger?"" Husband: ""Just rub toilet paper between them"" Wife: ""Why would that work?"" Husband: ""It worked on your butt"""

"My friends and I are all dressing as different Robin Williams characters at a Comic Con this weekend... We're the Suicide Squad!"

"Where does a cow stop to drink? The milky way!"