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Joke of the Day

"Bigger Breasts Wife: ""How can I make my breasts bigger?"" Husband: ""Just rub toilet paper between them"" Wife: ""Why would that work?"" Husband: ""It worked on your butt"""

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"What stopped winter from coming? Winterfell and it can't get up."
"Marmite ... But paw may not."
"I promise to remain the same grounded, gracious, friend I've always been after winning $7 from Powerball #dreams"
"Who cares if toilet paper is soft or not? Only an asshole can tell the difference anyway."
"Most black 15 year-olds in this country are decent, law abiding citizens. It's their kids who cause all the trouble."
"I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them."
"What do you call a black guy and an indian guy flying a plane? Pilots.......you racist idiot."
"I don't ""take"" weed because weed ""took"" my best friend & trapeze partner Corton from me when we were 17. #ImissYouBrother #SwingWithJesus"
"Did you hear about the honeydew and pineapple who tried getting married? The court said they *cant-eloupe*"