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Joke of the Day

"This morning I had a 10 o'clock meeting and got there at 9:11. Too soon."

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"What does an alcoholic do when he is out of beer? Wine"
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"Someone just threw sodium chloride at me. It was a salt."
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"I actually feel bad for Justin Bieber. No girl should have to take a picture without her makeup on"
"What did the Vegetarian say when he wanted to eat meat? ""Going vegetarian was a missteak"""
"What do you call an old-school CIA agent who believes his work is none of the public's goddamn business? A Pte-redact-yl"
"Learn cursive, they said. You'll need it your whole life, they said."