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Joke of the Day

"Met a hooker who said she'd do anything for $5 So I banged her."

"A duck walks up to a lemonade stand... and he says quack, quack."

"A drunk guy walks into a bar KLANG!"

"I suffer from premature procrastination. It's when you procrastinate before even receiving a task..."

"My niece just yelled ""MY DINNER IS BETTER THAN YOUR DINNER"" so I looked over and she was eating doritos with a fork"

"I, for one, like Roman numerals."

"How many ""suh dudes"" does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. It's already lit fam."

"My 3 year old reported seeing a spider-cricket and I couldn't find it so we're outside watching the house burn."

"To err is human, to arr is pirate."

"I got my Bank Balance back today. It was a picture of a priest. I put it on a spitroast, so at least now I can say I'm turning a prophet."