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Joke of the Day

"Met a hooker who said she'd do anything for $5 So I banged her."

"Did you hear about the window installer with two penises? He was double-hung."

"Know why vodka is so clear? Its so Russians can tell it isn't tap water."

"Every time I click ""Remember Me"" on a login page, I get a little sad thinking about my fleeting existence... ...But some cookies would brighten my day! Disclaimer: Made this joke up just now."

"How do you stop your children from smoking? Slow down and use some lubricant."

"This ""violence in the workplace"" seminar is only teaching us what we shouldn't do. No fighting techniques or anything."

"What do you do when a bird attacks you? Duck."

"Mayonnaise is cum. When you put it on a sandwich, you're spreading cum on your bread. When you ask for it on a burger, you ordered cum."

"Which came first: the chicken or the egg? The chicken. Eggs don't come."

"The orphan sat there, apparently. Get it? A-parently."