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Joke of the Day

"Driver "" I'm very sorry to learn that your wife ran away with your driver "" said the friend to the old man. "" oh, don't worry, I can drive """

"50 Cent released an album in Zimbabwe You probably haven't heard of it, because he debuted under the name ""Million Dollar Man"""

"Did you hear about the insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic man? He lies awake all night wondering if there's a Dog."

"I had sex with my teacher yesterday... God damn it feels good to be homeschooled."

"Did you hear the rumour about butter? Never mind, I better not spread it."

"Instead of cars warning us of stupid things, like the door is open, it should tell us useful things, like there's a cop hiding in the bushes"

"What's Adam Levine's favorite holiday? Halloween Halloween Halloween!"

"COP: Can you describe your attacker? ME: No COP: Didn't you see him? ME: Yes, but I have a poor grasp of adjectives"

"Gonna start referring to my Facebook feed as Chick-Fil-A because it's just a bunch of propaganda from cows who can't spell."

"What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck"