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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!"

"You should never tease a fat girl with a lisp. She's probably thick and tired of it."

"I was rescued after being exposed to the elements... I couldn't feel my fingers or toes, so I got the doctor to tell it to me straight. His reply: ""Once they go black, they never grow back."""

"what's going on with people who are mad at movies that last longer than 90 minutes but happily watch an entire season of TV in one day"

"Date: Cat-callers disgust me. Me: [hastily returning phone to pocket] Oh haha yeah me too. My cat: *at home by the phone worried sick*"

"I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium are going out. I was like OMg."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Aren't you glad I didn't say banana?"

"What do a dildo and soybeans have in common? They're both used as a meat substitute."

"My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he's got only his shelf to blame."

"What's a knife's favorite dessert? Slice cream."