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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst part about dating a Japanese girl? When you break up with her, you have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it."

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"I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn't care..... Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0"
"[boxing match] Commentator: Silva is in the red shorts with green, white & yellow trim Me: the black guy. Just say Silva is the black guy"
"IamA Bing search engine AMA Please. Just ask me something."
"My boyfriend is tall, strong, protective and flashes me regularly. Oh no wait. I'm thinking of a lighthouse again."
"My daughter asked me how much longer until she can be a grown up and I said, ""no."""
"I got a sweater for christmas... I really wanted a moaner but I got a sweater."
"Technology.( Based on true events) My apple watch reminded me to take a minute to breathe right after my grandfather let one rip."
"[Dinner date] I'm a T-shirt and jeans kind of girl, so I guess I'm kinda a momgirl ""You mean tomgirl?"" Don't talk with your mouth full."
"Dr. Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding competition... ...and discovered that he'd gravely misunderstood the objective."