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Joke of the Day

"I never drop names but I frequently drop babies."

"Did you know an NFL player was the first to land on the moon? He planted a flag, but a ref came by and picked it back up."

"What's the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home."

"What do you pay a hooker with? Income."

"*walks in on home intruder ""omg please don't look at the dust!"""

"Microwaved Food is a lot like Schroedinger's Cat It could be really hot or stone cold."

"What do a UT Austin student and a Texas A&M student have in common? They both applied to UT Austin"

"I tried explaining sarcasm to some kleptomaniacs but they always take things literally."

"""Are you on Facebook?"" ""No, but I'm on.. (don't say twitter, don't say twitter) ..Mescaline"" (Nailed it)"

"do you guys have PC & cheese? i'm not really a mac guy"