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Joke of the Day

"I never drop names but I frequently drop babies."

"What is the only bent straight line? Its one direction of course."

"So I wrote a Musical It was about a tragic coal mining operation ,unfortunately, the cave collapsed and the workers inside were killed. I decided to write it in A flat minor."

"If you see me in court you'd think I was furiously taking notes, but 9 times out of 10, I'm usually drawing a t-rex eating a witness."

"What do you call a secular humanist NGO? A non-prophet non-profit."

"A boy is walking in the forest with a pedophile ""This forest is really scary,"" says the boy. ""Tell me about it,"" replies the pedophile. ""And I have to walk outta here alone!"""

"Him: What? I couldn't understand you. Me: gnbkfshbffjjg H: What?! Me: GNBKFSHBFFJJG! H: Damnit Aimee! Take the burrito out of your mouth!"

"Mom: What are you hiding in there? -nuthin [Vin Diesel noises from closet] M: Is Vin Diesel in there? -...yes Vin Diesel: [from closet] No."

"A British man enters customs at an Australian airport. The officer asks ""Do you have a criminal record?"" The man looks confused and replies ""No, do I still need one?"""

"Need some adultish-humor. I have a girl I like, and I want to make her laugh. What are the best jokes you guys can think of to make a dirty-minded teenage girl laugh?"